Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A Question About Baby Showering

I was approached by a very close friend who is pregnant and she asked me a question and I told her what I honestly thought.
Here is the deal: For her baby shower she wants furniture for the baby's room (nothing else, just the furniture), since her last baby was born when they lived in a smaller home, and she had to share a room with her sister, this baby only had a mini crib. For the new baby she wants a full sized convertible crib with matching dressers and what-not. It is completely understandable to want new things, especially when they are cuter than the old things that you have. I get that, in fact I am kinda the same way.
Here is the deal though...she asked me if I thought it would be tacky to put on the invitation to her shower that in lieu of gifts please give gift cards. Ummm, Hell yes, I think that is so tacky. If you want specific new furniture, especially when this is not your first baby, and not even your second baby, maybe you should buy it yourself. (as a side note-Cal's crib was a hand-me-down, so was Riss', my BFF got Cal's changing table/dresser at the flea market for a super great price(pretty good quality and it was new and it is still in use in our home), when we gave that dresser to Riss and bought Cal a new one, we purchased that from someone on Craigslist. There are other options to get the things you want if you are not willing to shell out $600 for a new crib dresser.) I nicely told her that that is how I feel about it-minus the buy it yourself part, and I told her to maybe not register for gifts, because maybe it would be less tacky to tell people to just get you a gift card when they ask you what you need.
The thing is, women like to shop. Most of us do anyways, and a lot of us have certain things that we like to buy for the expecting mommy, and yes, I am going to check your registry, and if you have not registered anywhere, then I am going to ask you what you need. Please do not tell me specifically what you want on the invitation.
Another idea that one of my other friends had was for her to register at Babies r Us or Target, and then return everything, that way she can get the furniture she wants with her store credit (still kinda tacky, but not in-your-face tacky)...

I want to know what everyone else thinks about this situation. What would you say if you received an invitation that said that the mommy-to-be only wanted gift cards? Do you think there is a tactful way of letting people know that you only want gift cards? Also, I was going to buy her baby a specific gift, but should I feel obligated to go in on her furniture if everyone else is going to do that??


Mamikaze said...

I agree. Asking for furniture for a third kid's shower is not cool at all. Most people are nice and are happy to buy little gifts for the new baby, but flat out asking for a bedroom set is tac-kay.

Mrs. F said...

Thanks for validating my thoughts.

~Billie~ said...

I agree! That is so tacky. I would completely ignore the request if I received an invitation like that. It just seems really greedy and defeats the purpose of a baby shower.

Misguided Mommy said...

awful awful awful. that takes balls. i think her best bet would be to put the furniture on the registry along with gift cards. then people can go down and pay towards the big items, buy a gift card or pick something small. but if people see she needs big items i really think they would be more inclined to just pick up a gift card to help out

also thank you for being the ONLY person who comments on the food blog!

Mrs. F said...

Thanks everyone for your input. I told her to register for the crib and she agreed to do that. Thank goodness. Also, she found a nice dresser that she will be purchasing herself. I am so happy you all made me feel 'not alone'. Thanks again.