Monday, February 25, 2008

Playing with Fire

I woke up yesterday morning with toothpaste on my finger.

I noticed the fireplace was really heating up the house on Saturday night, and since there was enough body heat in there, I wanted it to stop. The only time our gas fireplace emits any heat at all is when the flue is closed. Yes, it makes the house smell like gas, but at least it is a warm gas-scented home.

Want to know what I did? I walked right up to that fireplace and I taught it a lesson. Or maybe it was me that learned a lesson. Yes, it was definitely me. Here goes: You stupid drunken fool, fireplaces emit actual heat, hence the name FIREplace, please do not stick your bare hand in there to try to open the flue while there is a blazing fire going. You are bound to get burned. Stupid, stupid, stupid, dumb drunk dummy!

So, yeah, I put some aloe vera lotion on my finger to try to take away the sting, but that was to no avail. Then someone suggested putting toothpaste on it to take the burn away. It actually worked. Either it worked or I was so drunk that I forgot about the pain. Whatever, at least I was able to move forward with the evening.

I do have a huge blister now, and am having difficulty putting my finger in a straight position.

I drew a happy face on the blister last night as a form of entertainment for little Riss. We were both pretty amused and she said it looked like a talking zit.

It is going to be so disgusting when this thing explodes. So disgusting.

More on the party later, no doubt.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Um... holy crap that must have hurt!