Wednesday, July 23, 2008

You Ask, I Answer~Part Two

Sometimes that orange button is hard to push. Publish Post. This is one of those times. Just publish it, Paloma, just friggin do it. No, I can't. Oh, just do it. OK, OK, OK...

I have had a lot going on lately. We have been making tough decisions right and left around this place, and I am not exaggerating. AT. ALL. I have been feeling censored, not wanting to talk about this, since people in my real life, people that I have not seen for years and years, and family, read my blog. Some of you are going to hate me for what I am about to tell you. You are going to cast judgment at me, but when you do, make sure you do it to my face. Not behind my back, because as much as I will pretend like I don't give a hoot about what you think...I might, kinda, maybe will care. Also? If you are going to judge me? Make sure your shiny ass is perfect. m'kay? Thanks. Here we gooooo.


Grandy has left a new comment on your post "Ask Me Anything":

Not to sound like a blogging stalker, but I've got one. When do we get to go to lunch? :)

No really...Why don't you please do a post about your biggest regret, and what you've learned from it?

I bet you didn't expect me to be deep, did ya?? Oh wait...that's all 3 questions.


When we bought this house the hubs was making more money than he currently is. It sucks, but I guess that is what we get for relying on overtime. Obviously it was not always going to be there. It is now gone. We were doing less than scraping by every month and we had to cut some things out.

This house being one of them.

I am a firm believer that purchasing a home should be a good investment. This house is not. Not at all.

Let me break it down for you: We paid $360,500 for our house in April 2007. A deal we had negotiated in December 2006. About a week after we closed escrow the housing market took a nosedive. Especially in our area. In only one short year the value of our house has gone from over $350,00 to about $175,000. If we do our math, we will see that it has decreased by 50%. Ridiculous!!!

Our house is in no way perfect, and in order to sell it we are going to need, at the very least, a new roof, new bathroom upstairs, since it is caving in, new flooring throughout the house, new heating/air conditioning unit, and other minor things. The cost of repairs in order to get the house in proper selling order would be roughly $40,000, bringing our total investment to $400,000. We could still only get less than $200,000 for our home. Seriously, folks.

We got a great loan, but it is five years interest only, so in June 2012 we will still owe $360,500. We would stay here if we thought there was even a slight chance that we could sell the house for just $400,000 and scrape out of here, but we know that realistically that is not the case. Living here is causing us such a hardship that we have decided to stop making payments on the house and we are listing with an agent next month to try to get the house sold in a 'short sale'. It looks slightly better than a foreclosure on our credit, since we are trying to help the bank by selling it.

Can I just tell you the part that sucks is that the bank could not, would not, help us until we defaulted on our loan. We needed help and they would not offer it to us. Our loan had been paid in a timely manner each and every month and they would not help us. They will only consider helping those that are behind in their payments.

It freaking sucks.

Right now, as it stands, I hate this house and I can not wait to get out. In three, or four, or five years we will reassess where we stand financially and we will try to buy a house again.

There you go folks. You ask, I answer. My biggest regret in life is buying this house. I knew that I wanted a different house, in a different neighborhood, but I let my husband talk me into buying this piece of crap house from his family. Also a big regret? Never buy a house from family. It basically sucks.

Hey Grandy. I don't know what I am supposed to learn from this lesson. Yet. I am sure it will become evident soon enough though.

And Grandy? Lunch- Friday, August 1. I have to bring my girl child, since Kindergarten is only half days, but we will come to you. If you still want to be my friend after reading this story, that is...


minijonb said...

good choice to not censor yourself. i always need to remind myself of that.

i was burned in the housing market a couple of years ago, but only slightly. it has totally freaked me out and i may never buy anything again. there goes that BS American dream you sold, mortgage industry bastards. may they all rot in prison.

The Fishers said...

Oh, Paloma! I do not judge. I feel bad for your situation. I was listening to a talk radio show, Yes I am an old nerd because I love talk radio. And it said that once a house drops in value, the bank is already taking a write-off for the difference. I don't remember the point of the story, but that stuck with me. I remember other bits and pieces but probably not enough to help you. That sucks that no help is available until you have defaulted. Things shall look up soon. Hang in there.

Elizabeth said...

This totally totally sucks. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crap.

I'm hoping to get a letter from our school district. I'll go into detail probably next post. Simply cause I'm a biyatch like that. ;)

Sarah said...

Well you already know that we have been there and done that with the housing thing. *sigh* And a little secret...I really didnt want to buy tmy old house (the one we lost)I just didnt like it. It didnt call to me. ya know. It was nice...had nice floors, a new kitchen...blah blah blah...but it just didnt flow right. So when we lost it last April it was like a weight had been lifted. Like OMG thank you I no longer have to dread comming home!! lol! I love the place we are at now. And if we could I would LOVE to buy it from the owners. Anyways...I know where you are comming from. Life happens and I still love you!! :)

~Billie~ said...

((HUGS)) Noone should judge you. You are doing what is best for yourself and your family. Honestly, I don't know what else you could do. I agree, it sucks that the bank won't help you so long as you haven't defaulted on the loan.
Hubby is going to tape and texture a few rooms in our house and we are going to put this on the market within a couple of months. Hubby also is making less than he did when we originally bought it a year ago.
Best of luck getting it sold! ((HUGS))

followthatdog said...

Crap. I'm so sorry. The RE market is such a hard one to negotiate. You can't know what is going to happen to make it tank. I'm so sorry you have to make this decision, but you do have to do what is right for your family.

nisa said...

Paloma, it totally makes sense! You can't let your family suffer and you can't sacrifice everything in life to pay for a money sucking house. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers that things go really smoothly for you and your family. I'm sorry things are so hard. I don't judge you. The market is really weird right now. I hope you find someone to buy your house.

The Morrow Family said...

You are one of the bravest people I know. To be able to share this story with the whole blogging world and be confident in what you are sharing and the decisions you make for your family...I envy you. Keep you head up and I know that you are always smiling. God works in the funniest of ways and one day all will turn around and there will be less stress and more happiness. XO

Rachel said...

I am so sorry Paloma. I wish you loved your house and I wish there were no money worries, which suck and drain the life out of anybody. I am sure things will get better. You deserve it.

Grandy said...

Oh girlie...

First, let me apologize for taking so long to get here in the first place. I have been out of town.

Second, HELL YEAH we're on for lunch on 8/1. I'm going to email you right away!! :)

Third, I'm hoping the #2 comment (did I digress to poo somehow?) showed you that I do not judge people for the situations they find themselves in. I appreciate you being open and honest. I'm sorry if my question made you face something uncomfortable.

If it will make you feel any better, I will try to post a regret of my the end of the week.

Thanks honey...and you are in my thoughts.

Christine said...

Paloma ~ we sold our dream house last year for similar reasons. I whined and cried about it on my blog for months.

It's easier to just put it out there sometimes, even if it's one of the hardest things to do. That made no sense. me. We live very close (university town just to west of you). Maybe if you win my giveaway I'll hand it over during coffee? ;)

Elizabeth said...

I don't know how often the kids test for this program, but if it happens it happens, I guess. I think I just needed to clear my conscience with that post cause I felt guilty for lying to myself. I'm such a whiner!

Misguided Mommy said...

how about it if just tell too. and also tell you, not only me too but me too on two houses and a car. so.....ME TOO!

Rebecca said...

No judgment, only love...

What a horrible situation. I'm so sorry. :(

It really stinks that "house people" won't help until you've defaulted. There really should be a law against that.

Steph said...

I found you of Shannon's blog. I have to say that his story is becoming more and more common. I know of at least five people that have had to do the same thing. You aren't alone, but I know that doesn't make you feel better. I wish you guys the best and hope the short sale is successful!

Mrs. F said...

Oh my God, y'all. I am completely overwhelmed by all the love and support you have given me. I was so scared to publish this post, because I am always afraid of what others are going to think about me.

Thank you all soooo much. Really, truly, from the bottom of my heart!

Carynanne said...

Paloma- I can't imagine why anyone would think ill of you. If Ryan suddenly made less money we'd be out of our house too. It's something I try not to worry about.

You just need to move to Atlanta.:) I know so many people who have moved here from California! The houses typically cost less than half of what they do out there. We bought our 2400-sq-ft brand new house for 158K. With beautiful hiking trails, green trees and lots of water, it sure outshines the deserts of the west! (At least in my mind). THen our kids could meet. :)