Saturday, November 29, 2008

The End Result of The End of an Era

I know you are all DYING to know how things turned out since I kicked the kids out of our bed.

Right?

Remember how I said that I am such a lazy sleeper and I do not have the energy to reroute the kids back to their own beds in the middle of the night?

Still true.

She is so sneaky, so sweet, and so cuddly.

Our bed is still not our own, but it was a nice thought, while it lasted...

What can I say?

I am a softy.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

You Are A Boob

A couple days ago I called my Mom to ask her what I should bring to her house as my contribution to the family's Thanksgiving dinner. She then handed the phone to my step-dad, who told me that I was not required to bring anything.

Tomorrow marks the thirtieth anniversary of the day my Mom became a mother. Also? The day I was born.

So I just kinda figured that I was not being asked to bring anything because I was getting off easy, since it is my birthday and all.

Today I called my Mom to double check that I am to bring nothing, and also to make sure that the only sweet offerings were not going to be Apple and pumpkin pie, since I am not a fan of either, and I would much prefer a cake, or at least a cheesecake to celebrate my birthday.

Turns out my step-dad is a giant boob.

I am still expected to bring the green bean casserole and the candied yams. And now my mom has to go to the store to buy me a cake. (That is what she gets for passing the phone off to him!)

So, my friends, I am off to brave the raging rapids, better known as the grocery store...Have you ever been to the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving? It is like trying to go to Target at 6am on black Friday...sheer madness.

Wish me luck!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Sweetheart, you are not an athlete!

The internet is abuzz with this video. In case you have yet to see it, I have taken the liberty of posting it right here for you.

There are soooooo many things wrong with this. Watch it first, then let us discuss.




Did you watch it? Hahahaha. It is hilarious, no?

My favorite part was where she is talking about her six inch stripper heels giving her calves a great workout. Honey, doesn't your religion forbid you from even shopping in the store where you bought those????

A rose by any other name is still a rose! (or is it a thorn that I am thinking of?)

Stripper dancing Pole fitness in the Olympics? Lets get cheerleading to the Olympics, first. And the many other things that are considered sports.

Also? Is yoga in the Olympics? It seems like these hoes women want their athleticism in the Olympics, when what they are really doing is just a fitness regime. I do not see any real competition here.

And yes, I know some of you are worried that I am just making fun of them because they are Mormon, but I am not like that. I am so non-judgmental, so back up off me.

Scantily clad married Mormon women dancing on stripper poles?

What is your favorite part?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Help! What is the number for 911?

I got this little story, I'd like to tell, about three people that you know kinda well. It started way back in his-tory...

OK, OK. I know, this is crazy. I am blogging twice in one day...

So earlier today I decided that since I was cooking dinner in a crock pot, and since every time I have used the oven lately the smoke alarm has gone off, and since tomorrow morning I have to bake some yummy treats for Rissa's class, that today would be a perfect day to let the oven clean itself.

I dutifully lock the oven, I turn it on to self clean and I walk away.

About an hour later Miss Riss walks into the kitchen (mind you I am five feet away) and I hear this: "Whoa my gawshhhhh. The oven is on fire."

I snort and tell her that, no, the oven is not on fire, it is just cleaning itself. I get up, walk over to the oven, and lo an behold, that mother fugger is ON FIRE!

I send the kids outside and run to my purse and grab my phone. Then I walk into the kitchen, turn off the oven and stare at the fire. I can NOT pull my eyes away.

Nor can I decide who to call. Do I call 911? It is not really a big fire. It is not coming OUT of the oven. It is only about a foot high and six inches wide. Should I call the fire department? What do I do? Do I call my Mom? 911?

Heh. I stood there and did NOTHING.

The fire went down, and eventually OUT.

I was flipping scared. The last thing I want is for my house to burn down...

Anywho. We are safe, but I am a little bit scared to turn on my oven tomorrow morning.


Edited to add: Apparently this happens a lot. Look at one of the FAQ's on GEs website. Also. When the hubs walked in the door from work he was pissed because the house stunk so bad. He scraped the gunk out of the bottom of the oven and turned it on again, which, apparently, is what you are supposed to do.
Also, I did not use any cleaning products, I just turned the oven on. Are you supposed to use that oven cleaner stuff? It stinks SO bad! I thought it was optional. Heh.

Love and Hate

On the list of things I hate, lets add finding unwrapped lollipops under the bathroom sink. K?

On the list of things I love, lets add when my kids act really goofy in front of the camera for me.

My Mom got both the kids these adorable jammies at that store where Paris Hilton thought they sell walls. To get them to light up all the kids have to do is...



I absolutely adore Seal's new music. I put it on and had Rissa dance. Um, she has no rhythm. At all. She gets that from her father. Cause y'all know I am a dancing queen... *snicker, snicker*



Cal got his jammies on and then would not let me get him on video. Oh well.

Happy Thursday. Oh, wait. What? Did someone say THURSDAY??? You know what Thursday is next week? No, piggy, I am not talking about Thanksgiving. IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! 7days till I am officially OLD, but not really OLD, just older...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The End Of An Era

I have no problem admitting that when I am sleeping I am lazy. That is, after all, what sleep time is all about, right?

We have a monster-sized bed. I am not sure if it is a California King, or just a regular King, but still, it is huge.

For as long as I can remember the kids have always jumped into bed with us in the middle of the night. Cal does not do it as often anymore, but he does it on occasion. Rissa, on the other hand, does it EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. It is never really a huge problem, as long as she is sleeping in the middle of the bed. That way, I do not feel trapped in the middle, as I often do. I know that she is five years old, and really probably too old to be doing this, but like I said, I am LAZY! There is no way that I am going to get out of bed to walk her back to her room and explain to her that there is nothing to be afraid of...

Anywaysss. Yesterday morning Big Daddy woke up a little confused, really upset, and swearing.

Why?

He was sleeping in a puddle of pee.

It has been declared that Mommy and Daddy's bed is strictly for Mommy and Daddy now. No more monkeys sleeping in our bed.

I feel like an era has ended.

I also feel like I need to go out and buy a new matress topper. This one is tired of being peed on.




Do you let your children sleep with you? At what age do/did you make them stop? If you do not have kids, or you never let your kids sleep with you, how do you view me? Seriously, I want to know.
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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Temper Tantrums. Not Just For Children Anymore.

The hubs woke up not too long ago and the first thing out of his mouth was something along the lines of "What the heck happened here?"

My response? "Oh, I did that. I ran in to the door."

I am such a liar.

You want to know what really happened?

I was getting the kids ready for school and we were running late. Only about 5 or 10 minutes late, but still. Late.

I finish putting the girl's hair up in several ponies, she starts screaming and crying that they are too tight, and starts ripping them out. WE WERE ALREADY RUNNING LATE!

I storm off, because for some reason THIS IRRITATES THE HELL OUT OF ME and I could not control myself.

I run into the edge of the stairs, which happen to stick out about an inch and a half. My arm is throbbing. What transpires next is really pathetic.

The laundry "room" doors are bi-fold doors. They were both open. So picture me walking down my hall way, my arm throbbing, I am irritated because we are running late and the girl demon child is screaming about her stupid hair hurting. I am the super mature parent, so instead of calmly closing the laundry door, I push on it, in an attempt to get my point across that I am MAD. Instead of this having the effect I had hoped it would have, it had more of the Incredible Hulk effect. I pushed the door so hard that it BROKE off the hinges. The wood is splintered and the door is laying on the ground. So then I am pissed at myself for breaking my super cute door, so what do I do? I walk in to the kitchen and find the door to the garage wide open. With every ounce of force in my body, I slam that sucker. The walls vibrate, as does the refrigerator. I turn my back and pray that the things on top of the fridge do not come flying down and decapitate me. My prayers were answered, but should they have been? Jeez.

I needed a good spanking, it was clear.

How the hubs was able to sleep through all that, I have no idea.

On the way to take the kids to school I had my coffee in hand (no lid, of course, as is par for the day!) and as I am coming to a stop at a red light I dumped steaming hot coffee on my breasteses.

I totally deserved it. I know.

I am going to the gym now to work out some frustrations. Please, enjoy these pictures.

Be frightened.


RAWR!!

I showed that door who is boss!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Eleven Years Goes By Really Fast When You Are Having Fun

July 13, 1997 I got fired from my job as a deli clerk at a grocery store here in Sacramento. I had been up for a couple days on a drug bender and slept through my scheduled work day.

Who knew that employers frown upon that kind of thing?

My Mom sent me to live with my Grama in the house behind my Aunt and Uncle's house in a small suburb of San Diego, called Santee. The first few days that I was there I spent 'coming down' off the drugs. Then I got bored and decided to go explore the city of San Diego. It was then that I learned that Santee was not-so-lovingly referred to as Klantee. I am so uncool with racism, bigotry, discrimination, and judgmentalism that I knew I had to get out of there.

I took a bus back to Sacramento, thinking that all would be good with my Mom.

She sent me on the next bus back to Klantee.

Shortly after, I got a call from my old drug dealer, saying that he, and a couple of my other buddies were IN San Diego.

I borrowed my Grama's car and drove out to where they were (drug dealer's girl friend's new apartment) and we hung out, ended up going out to Tijuana and stuff.

That was in August 1997.

A couple of months went by and Amy (drug dealers girlfriend) called me to see if I wanted to hang out.

I was bored stiff and had just got fired from Wal-Mart (for shit that I did not do), so I was super excited for the invite.

November 11, 1997 we ended up hanging out for a couple of days-straight through, learning about each other, and bonding. Telling stories. Stuff like that.

Had it not been for that one phone call 11 years ago, I have no idea where I would be (probably all strung out on Meth, living in a ditch somewhere, I reckon!)!

I moved in with Amy and her roommate, Kelley, just after Thanksgiving.

Amy is my best friend. She supports me in all that I do, encourages me to be a better woman, makes me laugh, and is a shoulder to cry on. We vacation together. Our children are best friends, and our husbands are BFF's, too.

Amy has since dumped the drug dealing boyfriend and has been married for over six years, with [almost] three year old twins.

Also? We don't do drugs, either, so rest easy.

Anyway, I sent Amy a text this morning that read: It is 11:11 on 11/11. Happy 11th BFF anniversary to the best BFF a girl could ask for. Why the hell are we not in Vegas? All those 11s!

It is true. Amy IS the best BFF a girl could ask for, even if I can not put in to such eloquent words exactly what she means to me. {A lot, trust me!}

Here are some photos to entertain you.

The first day of a fabulous friendship 11-11-1997

We are like models, yo! 1998

Modeling the Acura :) 1998

A more recent shot.


I need to get off the computer now, I have to feed the family dinner and take a shower, I have a date tonight, and it is not with my husband!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Feed Me, Read Me

I have heard it time and time again, weight loss is comprised of 80% food/diet and 20% exercise.

Well, my friends, I pretty much have the exercise part down pat, as I have been going to the gym faithfully 5 days a week since [the end of] June.

I have not, however, changed the way I eat, not one single bit.

I have lost 12 pounds in the past 4. 5 months. At this rate, I will be at my goal weight in 3 years. Are you mother-lovin' kidding me?????

Sooooo, in an attempt to lose weight a little more steadily I am going to try to eat healthier. I may even go back to Weight Watchers. We'll see.

So, my dear friends. I have a proposition for all [5] of you!

Let's share recipes.

Leave, in the comment section, a HEALTHY recipe that I can try out on my kids and husband, too. If you have the nutritional facts, that would be even better.

Come on y'all, help a sistah out!


measuring girl Pictures, Images and Photos

Photo courtesy of ebaydigipete's photobucket

Speaking of the gym, I think that I may have actually NEVER talked about it on here. How is that even possible??? Some days my life actually revolves around going to the gym, when I can go, and what I am going to do there. Like on weekends, the kid care is only open until 3pm, so I have to make sure I go early.

There is a particular class that I absolutely love so SO much. Instead of me trying to explain it to you, why don't you just check out this short video. The class is called Zumba. Have you ever tried it? If your gym offers it, I urge you to give it a try, at least once. I love it.




I just watched this video and I almost could not resist. I just about got up and started dancing along with them. Haha.

OK, folks. What is your favorite healthy meal?
And what is your favorite exercise to do, either at the gym, or at home...

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Pretty Pretty Princessy Girl Stuff. With Boys.

While at Disneyland the plan was to take the kids to lunch with the princess in Ariel's Grotto at California Adventures.

I, being the cheap ass frugal Momma that I am, decided not to go. I did, however let Rissa go with her Aunties, Uncles, and cousins*...

I was there before they went in to the restaurant, and I was there when they got out of the restaurant. It is almost like I was actually there during the duration of the lunch though, what with all the pictures that Amy took.

Next time we go to Disneyland I am definitely going to shell out the $30 per person to go to this lunch. It looks soooo worth it.

And? Rissa totally behaved and ate all her lunch. She did not act up at all. It is going to be worth the money, just for that alone!!!

My computer is AMAZING me right now, as I upload these photos. When I take a picture on my camera it automatically rotates it. When I put them on the computer as soon as we got home from vacation they went back to being sideways and stuff. Everything was saved in our external hard drive as we dumped the computer. When he was making the computer all fresh and pretty he "upgraded" to Windows Vista, as opposed to the old Windows XP that we used to have. When I view my pictures in thumbnail size on the external drive folders, I see the pictures sideways. When I open them up and view them large, I see them the right side up. I was so sure that half of these pictures that I just loaded on to this post were going to make you have to turn your computer on it's side just to see them properly. What a nice surprise when they showed up on my post all right side up! Squeal!

Also? If you are wondering why Rissa is wearing a Belle dress and all the other girls are wearing Cinderella...I brought Rissa's Cinderella dress and told her to wear it. She INSISTED on wearing her Belle dress [for a second day in a row, since we went trick-or-treating the night before]. When we got to the lunch and she saw all the other girls putting on their Cinderella dress, then, and only then, did she tell me she wanted to be Cinderella...She got over it, but I am just saying, so you will know that she was in no way left out, nor was she deprived.

Without further ado, I give you...The Princess Lunch. (And a bunch of kids that are not mine. I hope their Mommy's do not mind!)


Snow White, Tora, and Rissa

Cinderella, HayHay, and Bree

Rissa, Cinderella, and Tora

Tora, Cinderella, and Rissa

Jasmine with HayHay, Mommy and Bree in the back

Jasmine and Rissa

Jasmine and Vin


Sleeping Beauty and Tora


Sleeping Beauty and Rissa


Sleeping Beauty and Vin


Tora, Rissa, Ariel, and Vin

Zorro, Bree, Ariel, and HayHay

HayHay and Zorro[not his real name]

Pretty Princesses ready for lunch

Tora, Bree, and Rissa
*Our adopted family. My BFF's family, actually, but we call them Auntie, Uncle, and cousins. They mean a lot to us, and our family would not be complete without them!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Fantabulousness

One of my favorite things about going to Disneyland is how happy my family is while we are there. It is like all burdens are lifted off our shoulders when we walk through the entrance gates.

We love vacationing together, even though the ride down to Anaheim can be quite torturous. When the children sit in the back seat and argue over the only set of ear phones for over an hour, it can create the headache from hell.

I am not saying our whole trip was perfect, we do still get on each others nerves. But it is somehow more tolerable.

So for today's picture blog I give you what I like to call Family Fantabulousness...

Almost Christmas card worthy,
but we can't pay the girl to smile sometimes.
And my hair looks effed up.

Only a father could understand
She was crying until he picked her up.
Bamboozled!

The first 15 minutes in Disneyland.
No ones feet hurt, no one was hungry, no one was tired.
Mrs. F and Little Miss F

Thursday, November 6, 2008

On Being The Mother of a Jedi

Every time we have gone to Disneyland we go see the Jedi Academy. It is a really cool interactive show where they instruct young children on how to become a Jedi, complete with the children actually becoming a certified Jedi at the end of the show.

Cal is always one of the kids jumping up and down, begging to be chosen. The disappointment in his eyes when he does not get chosen is heartbreaking.

This time, however, he got chosen to participate.

Imagine our excitement.

Big Daddy stood by and took about 30 pictures and a shit ton of video. And without further ado, for your viewing pleasure...

I do not actually see my kid in this pic,
so I have no idea why I am posting it



There he is...


All certified and stuff

OMG, this video is taking forever to upload. Seriously! Probably because it is so longggg. Good thing we bought that 4GB memory card for my new camera, or else this would have been deleted before we even came home from vacation. It would have taken up the whole memory of our old 256MB card...I actually have another video to upload to this post, and it is much shorter, so it should upload so much faster, but geez, I am getting gray hairs from sitting here waiting for so long. I should probably walk away and do something else, but then you would not get to hear my thought process anymore, and I know how sad you would be if you were not reading this right now.

Big Daddy bought a new keyboard for the computer the other day, because I used the other one so much that all the letters were disappearing off of the keys. Apparently he has to stare at the keyboard when he types.

Have you ever had the Baked Potato soup from Chili's? OMG, it is so delicious. I am going to try to emulate that for dinner tonight. Hey, remember when I used to participate in Menu Plan Monday? That always made my dinners go so smoothly every night. I should start participating in that again.

Seriously. This video has taken at least 20 minutes to upload. Are you kidding me???

I need to go BACK to the store for some sour cream.
I can hardly wait to start decorating my house for Christmas.
Have I told you all that I am going to be 30 years old on Thanksgiving this year. Yup, 3 weeks till my birfffdayyy. I don't really feel old. I hope I never do.

I made a new friend in my Business Law class. We went out to coffee together after our test yesterday and we got in a fist fight over who was going to pay for the coffee. Heh. I'm lying, but that would have been a terrifically bloggable story. We did get in a fight about paying, though. I won. I made her buy the coffee. Heh. I am lying again. I did win, but I got to buy the coffee. I totally owed her, since she took awesome notes for me while I was galavanting around Disneyland.

OMG, I have no idea, but that last story was all crazy and stuff.

Maybe if I walk away from the computer and start working on dinner then when I come back the video will have uploaded (doubtful)...Seriously. This video is so long that you are not even going to watch it all the way through. You are going to get bored and stop it half way through. If I was uploading this for you, then I would have cancelled it a long time ago. I am actually just putting it on here to have on here. So there. Kudos to you if you attempt to watch the whole thing, though!

OK, I just left, went and picked up the princess from school, 25 minutes later, I returned home, and this dang video is still uploading. This could take all day. Seriously.
We should count the number of times that I have said "seriously" in this post. It is probably astronomical. Or something.

OK, so I decided to upload it to youtube and it took less than a half hour. Please note that I started this post over 2 hours ago...




He is so excited to be a Jedi. His souvenirs consisted of a Jedi Trading Pin and a light saber that hew built himself (among other things). It actually lights up and is about 5 feet long, he brags. Also...it was twice as expensive as the light sabers that are not DIY...(I am not complaining, I actually think that all of the souvenirs are quite reasonably priced there...) I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Freaky

A picture of a real sign in a Shell station on the way to Disneyland...read it and weep (in fear)...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Quickie

Taking a quick break from my studies to tell you all that I hope you voted today!

The hubs has spent the past few days defragging the computer and re-uploading everything, so I have been out of touch since I-don't-even-remember-when. It all started when I uploaded 453 pictures from our vacation. After that the computer started moving at a snail's pace...the wireless was not hooked up, so both the desktop and the laptop were out of commish. It was suckish.

I have about 7 million blogs in my reader to catch up on, since it has been over a week since I have really gone through it. Forgive me.

The hubs downloaded World of Warcraft and started playing it this morning. I fear I am going to become a WoW widow. I swear if I do, I will divorce him...

:)

Forty percent of my grade in Business Law is riding on tomorrow, so I must get off this computer and get back to the books.

Someday I will post about my vacation, because seriously? I have 453 pictures from it.