Tuesday, March 31, 2009

An Interview With My Children

I am a little late at hopping on the bandwagon, but you may or may not have seen this meme floating around the interwebz.

It is an interview with your children.

I brought each kid of mine over to the computer separately and asked them each question, trying to get their answer exactly as they stated.

Cal's answers are in blue, and Riss's are in purple. She wanted pink, but the pink was too light, she was not happy about that at all.

My response to their answer is in green.

Without further ado...Here is what my kids think of me.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
They heard me say that? I could have sworn that I was talking to the walls when I said that.

2. What makes mom happy?
Awww, they are both right

3. What makes mom sad?
When Dad hurts your feelings and crying.
Death makes me sad. True. Haha about Dad hurting my feelings. Better watch where we fight from now on, huh!

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Nice. Like me.

6. How old is your mom?
I will always be 18 at heart, but yes, I am 30.

7. How tall is your mom?
Maybe 30 feet.
516 inches
WHOA, Nelly. They are hilarious. They actually used a scientific arm lifting method to figure this out!

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Go to Disneyland
Go to work
Oh yeah, I LOVE working. *snort*

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Uhhhhh, get on, uhhhh, hahahahaha (as he reads this) hahahahaha. Sit down and watch TV and do nothing.
Go to work, noooo, watch TV.
(I read blogs and try and straighten the house up)

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Singing good.
A superstar because she is cute.
Hahahahaha, this is the funniest one, because I sing like a dying cat, but I am pretty cute. :)

11. What is your mom really good at?
WTH?????? I only get 200 texts a month to share with the hubs. I interviewed them seperately, how did they come up with the same answer? This is insane.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Playing games on the Playstation. "Just write PS2, it is easier"
Very long books.
Uh, I have no idea about the books. I can't write a long book, but I sure can read them. Ohhhh, I don't read long books to her. I only read a few pages a night from her giant books. I bet that is what she is talking about.

13. What does your mom do for her job?
*nods head*

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Chicken sandwiches
It is chocolate, you fools. Get it right!!!!!!!!!!

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
She feeds us, no wait, she buys us all the toys.
OK, they are so cute.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
I AM Supergirl, son, I AM!!! (Ella Enchanted is on TV right now...)

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Go shopping.
Awww, my snuggle bug. She does sleep with me still. And we do go shopping, but not nearly as much as we used to (or as much as I would like...)

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We have the same colored eyes? Do we? "No." We have the same colored lips.
We have the same eyes.
Haha. Colored lips. For the record, the kids have the same eyes, mostly. Mine are hazel. Theirs are their very own makeup of color. Some blue, green, brown and grey.

19. How are you and your mom different?
We don't have the same colored eyes.
I play and you watch TV.
True, true, and true. What?

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Because I love her.
Because she always smiles at me.
Awww, I'm am melting from their cuteness.

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Um, NO, and NO.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Less Words Wednesday

The other day Riss was quiet for more than 2 minutes. [Any mommy knows that this spells trouble].

She walked out of my room looking a little guilty, and also looking like she was holding something. I made her open her hands to show me what was in them and she showed me the tops of her open hands. Empty.

A short while later I went to the bathroom and I discovered this. Let me just tell you that we do NOT use pink hand soap.

For more WW participants go here.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Paying It Forward Stories

One of the rules of the Pay it Forward game is that you have to write about a pay it forwarding story.

I have thought and thought, and stewed and brewed about it for days on end now. I have come up with nothing. Nothing from my own personal bank of stories, anyhow. Not that I have never done anything nice for anyone, just that I am drawing a blank.

So then I got to thinking of other people's pay it forward stories that I have heard about and the first thing that came to my mind was a story that was told at my work. It is a true story and goes as follows.

Roseville, Calif.
Team Member Brad from the Creekside, California [business omitted for my own privacy]restaurant, came into work one morning after stopping at the Starbucks drive-through. As it turned out, he knew the manager at Starbucks, and the manager bought him his coffee. Brad quickly pulled money out of his pocket and told the manager to pay for the car behind him. The manager took the money and told the next car in line about what Brad had done. That car went ahead and paid for the next car in line, which started something awesome - the following 23 cars continued to “pay it forward!”

Later that day, a couple came into [business name omitted] and asked to be seated in Brad’s section. When they sat down, the couple told Brad that they were the car behind him that he had paid for, which started the 23-car Unbridled Act. They wanted to meet him and thank him. And thank him they did; they left Brad a 100 percent tip on their bill. Just by doing a small Unbridled Act, Brad managed to make the day of so many others...

My favorite fictional story is told by Clay Walker, in the form of a song.

He was driving home one evening,
In his beat up Pontiac
When an old lady flagged him down,
Her Mercedes had a flat
He could see that she was frightened,
Standing out there in the snow
'Til he said I'm here to help you ma'am,
By the way my name is Joe

She said I'm from St. Louis,
And I'm only passing through
I must have seen a hundred cars go by,
This is awful nice of you
When he changed the tire,
And closed her trunk
And was about to drive away,
She said how much do I owe you
Here's what he had to say

You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I'm helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here's what you do
Don't let the chain of love end with you

Well a few miles down the road,
The lady saw a small cafe
She went in to grab a bite to eat,
And then be on her way
But she couldn't help but notice,
How the waitress smiled so sweet
And how she must've been eight months along,
And dead on her feet

And though she didn't know her story,
And she probably never will
When the waitress went to get her change,
From a hundred dollar bill
The lady slipped right out the door,
And on a napkin left a note
There were tears in the waitress's eyes,
When she read what she wrote

You don't owe me a thing,
I've been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I'm helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here's what you do
Don't let the chain of love end with you

That night when she got home from work,
The waitress climbed into bed
She was thinkin' about the money,
And what the lady's note had said
As her husband lay there sleeping,
She whispered soft and low
Everything's gonna be alright, I love you, Joe

If that song does not make you at least choke up a little then it is quite obvious that you have no soul.

Anyway, head on over to my other post and be one of the first three people to comment, write a story of your own, link to it, and then you will get something cool in the mail from me. Just do it. I know it requires some thought, but it is fun.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Pay It Forward

Wanna get a cool gift in the mail from me?

All you have to do is leave a comment with a pay it forward story (or a link to one if you have one) (or whatever) and 3 winners will get something cool from me. The only catch is that the winners have to pay it forward on their blogs or Facebook, or whatever social networking they choose....

I am copying this from Chrissy over at Mathers, party of 4! Go check her out. Check out her super cute stuff on etsy, too, while you are there!

Don't Poke The Bear


When we were looking for a house to rent my step-brother's girlfriend referred us to this house, telling me that her Aunt's neighbor was looking for a tenant and that the price was in our range. She gave me her Aunt's phone number and I called right away to set up a time when we could come see the house.

We walked into the house and immediately fell in love with it. It is perfect. Just our size. In a gated community for added security. In a great school district with distinguished schools. Closer to the hubs work.

We spoke with the owner of the house, who lives in Southern Cali, and arranged everything and moved right in.

What I was not expecting [although I should have been] was for my [step] brother and his girlfriend to break up.

They have a 9 month old baby, and she is simply adorable. We all love her to pieces. Especially Riss. Riss just can NOT get enough of her cute little squishiness.

Ok, so we live next door to crazy drama baby mama's Aunt. The Aunt watches the baby a couple days a week, and when we were over here the first time, just to look at the house she told me that the baby is at her house a couple days a week and the kids could come over and see her...

Fast forward to last week.

The baby had just been dropped off by crazy drama baby mama {CDBM}.
Riss asked me if she could see the baby, so I asked CDBM's Uncle if it would be OK if Riss went inside to say hello. He, being the nicest man ever, said of course, no problem.

He walks us in through the garage door, and CDBM's Aunt is there changing the baby's diaper, getting everyone ready to leave. He tells her that Riss wants to say hi to the baby, and she starts freaking out. "J, there is so much commotion right now...blah, blah, blah" I understand that she is trying to leave the house. Fine. [He turns to us and tells us that it is OK] So I tell Riss to be quick about it. She stands there and makes googly eyes at the baby for like, oh, I don't know...10 seconds. Gives her a kiss. Says "Hi cute baby". Then we leave. So we were in there for a total of maybe 20 seconds (although, with CDBM's Aunt being such a stress-case it felt more like 20 minutes...)

I understand that CDBM's Aunt was trying to get ready to leave.


I get that.

However, like it or not, Riss is that baby's cousin.

So when CDBM and my brother were talking last night she told him that she did not want my kids going in to her Aunt's house to see the baby.

Specifically, she said, "When the baby is over at my Aunt's house I don't want Paloma's kids going over there to see her."

So, to say the least, she has poked the bear. Anyone and everyone knows that you do not poke the bear. Especially the Mama Bear.

I have never been even remotely rude to CDBM, and get along quite well with my neighbors.

CDBM has actually never, and I mean NEVER, said anything crazy or rude or bitchy to me, she has to everyone else in the family, with the exclusion of my sister and me.

I have never talked bad about her crazy I-need-meds-for-being-bipolar-but-refuse-to-take-them-because-they-will-make-me-fat ass to my kids. They really like her. They also get along famously with the neighborhood children.

For her to say that my kids are not allowed to go next door when the baby is there just kinda pissed me off. The only problem is that I have no idea who to be mad at...CDBM? Or CDBM's Aunt for even making an issue out of Riss coming over there to see the baby for 10.5 seconds?

The baby is in a bag. Hahaha.

Love, love, love, her roly poly baby self. SO much!

Sorry, y'all. I just really needed to vent. I really think that it sucks that the kids always know when the baby is next door, and although they never really do go in to the neighbor's house, now they can't. I guess that what I really don't understand is why it was such a big deal. Riss is 5 years old. Five. C'mon.

My Mom told me not to say anything to the kids. And if they do happen to go into the house when the baby is there that I should let CDBM confront me. Other than that I have been told to take no action. They are in the beginning stages of a custody case, which has the potential of getting very ugly. I really feel like my hands are tied.

For the time being I am going to listen to my Mom and just keep it to myself (well, and you, interwebz...)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy Drunken Irishmen's Day

Alright, alright, I know I just posted a whole blog dedicated to the Leprechaun Trap, but that was a re-post of last year's trap from when Cal was in Kindergarten.

Riss is in Kindergarten and she, too, had to do a Leprechaun Trap. So you get yet another post about Leprechaun Traps.

Yay. I know.

First I am going to give you a list of our supplies:
~Shoe box from Daddy-sized shoes, free
~Metallic green wrapping paper, $1 at the Dollar tree
~Shirt box, found in garage with my wrapping crap
~Bamboo sticks, from my kitchen drawer, normally used for kabobbing
~Wooden circles, "Woodsies", $3.39 at Michael's
~Metallic Gold Paint, $0.89 at Michael's
~Wooden circle box that opens (for lack of better words), $1.99 at Michael's
~2 pieces of green foam paper, $0.59 each at Joann's
~1 piece of green felt, $0.25 at Joann's
~Shamrock confetti, $1.99 at Joann's
~Shamrock wire stuff, $1 at the dollar tree
~Glitter Glue Sticks, $1 at the dollar tree
~Black paint that I found in the garage
~Box cutter, or razor blade

The first thing we did was wrap the shoe box in the wrapping paper.
I then cut a small 3 sided hole in the top of the box as the "trap" for when the Leprechaun tried to get to the gold. We glued on about a gazillion pieces of shamrock confetti, then wrapped the wirey shamrock stuff around the outside of the box.

I found it impossible to find gold coins in any store in the area, so I finally gave up looking for them and I bought the little "woodsies" at Michaels. Putting chocolate coins would have been frowned upon, since chocolate draws the attention of ants and Kindergartner's do not want ants in their classroom. (Just so you know, for future reference.) We painted the woodsies gold on one side, let them dry, then turned them over and painted them on the other side. While we were waiting for them to dry on the first side I painted the cicle box thingy black, using the Behr paint, since it was what I had on hand.

After all the paint had dried we glued the circular box thingy to the top of our wrapped shoe box, then we threw in all the gold.

It took me a while to decided what material to make the bridge/rainbow out of. I wanted it to be sturdy, but not wood. In the end I probably would have used a cardboard box, but I ended up using a shirt box. I cut out the rainbow shape and let Riss color the rainbow.
For the bridge part I used a piece of green foam paper and taped it in the middle of the two pieces of colored in shirt box, aka rainbow.

We glued cut up pieces of bamboo sticks on to the foam paper bridge so that the Leprechaun would have some steps to walk up, otherwise it would have just been a foam slide. Heh.

We were having a hard time getting the rainbow to stand up straight, so, as with most bridges, we had to use some leverage, and we added bamboo sticks to the top to get it to stand up straight, this is why I say that I would have preferred to use a cardboard box.

Next we made the sign, as to entice the little Leprechaun up the bridge and to the end of the rainbow. "Free Gold", it says, because really, who doesn't love free gold?

The goal is that the Leprechaun walks up to the pot of gold, in all his greed, and falls through the hole and gets stuck in the box.

We went to class this morning, and, unfortunately, we did not catch a leprechaun. He did, however, leave a piece of candy, letting us know that he had been there.

Maybe next time!

I told her to smile and I got this...

We tried for another smile and she gave me this...

That is better!

Our sign...

Showing off her hard work in class...
Just remember that each Leprechaun Trap is unique and special in it's own way, this is just our idea of how to catch a leprechaun.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Oldie, Goody, Goody, Oldie

I have been noticing that I have had traffic [aside from my regular readers] of people looking for the Leprechaun Trap.

It was a Kindergarten project that we did last year.

To satisfy the needs of those looking for ideas of how to make one I am re-posting it here today...


Cal came home from Kindergarten last week with an assignment- a family assignment to be exact: There is legend in the Irish culture that on or around St. Patrick's Day little men dressed in green are around watching us. If the little men are caught, they will leave us gold. These little men are really clever, naughty, and sneaky. In years past they have come to the classroom and made a mess, but this year we want to catch them.

Your family project is to make a Leprechaun Trap. Feel free to make your trap really fancy. These traps will be displayed in the class during Open House.

There was more to the letter, but I do not think I need to type all the boring logistics out verbatim for you. You get the idea, right?

We are supposed to get down and dirty with the craftiness as a fam.

Wednesday night I took the kids to Target, thinking that their dollar section would have an abundance of goodies for our trap. It didn't. We had to go to other, more expensive sections of the store and we spent a bit more money on this cute little Kindergarten project than I would have liked to spend, but I am not one to be a fuddy-duddy mommy, and our project was going to be dope...

And without further ado...

I give to you, dear reader, the first online view of our Leprechaun Trap!

Please note that Leprechauns are seriously attracted to the color green, and to clovers and gold, so already they are going to definitely be lured in to our trap. But the fact that we made it into a dance club is even better. I mean, really, what kind of Leprechaun does not like to dance and get his jig on???
We added a ladder for their convenience...

The sign at Club Leprechaun says "A Dance Club for Leprechauns Only"

Notice the pot of gold? When the leprechauns try to get to the pot they will slip through a trap door that we cut into the floor of the club, fall into a cup and become trapped. This Leprechaun trap is fool-proof. We are for sheezy gonna catch us a little green man!!!!

**Click on the pics to make them bigger**


We have another Leprechaun Trap due on Monday, so we need to get started. I am trying to make it different this year, but I really loved last year's project!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Finding Old Friends On Facebook Can Lead to Photos Of Your Younger Years Being Posted For All To See

A friend of mine just uploaded this photo to her Facebook page.

I would be embarrassed, but I think it is really cute!

I was 14 and had just been in a cake war or something...

Without further ado...

Happy Wordless Wednesday!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Five year Olds Are Put On This Earth To Teach Us A Lesson. Or Something.

My brother watched the kids today while I was at work, which is basically awesome, because it was the first time he has watched them in a really long time. (Like since me and two of my girlfriends drove down to San Diego and had him come to our hotel so we could ditch him with the kids. Riss was 8 months old.)

Upon my arrival home he had a couple things to report. Miss Riss had a couple of minor run ins with inanimate objects (walls and doorknobs) (completely normal), and that my mirror is now nailed to my wall. And the hammer is on a really high shelf.

I should have known that was going to happen, after all, I did leave the hammer right next to the mirror...


Two nights ago Riss came to me and told me that the mirror fell off the wall. The mirror was nailed in at all four corners, and stuck in the wall pretty sturdily.

Or so I thought.

Oh the things a five year old can teach you.

So here was her story: " I was laying on your bed and the mirror started shaking (she starts shaking her arms violently to reenact what she saw) and then it just fell."

Uh, ok.

I question her some more, because, of course, I highly doubt that this is what really happened...

But her story remains rock solid.

She is not wavering at all.

She was laying in my bed and it started shaking, then it just fell.

OK, fine.

I walk away, as she simply exasperates me.

Later that night I am standing in my room and something on the mirror catches my eye.

A perfectly round circle.

Anyone dare to take a guess at what left that perfectly round mark on my mirror?

Anyone at all?


Then I will just come out and tell you that I have found this particular household helper laying around the house in pretty random places lately.


Are you barfing in your mouth yet?

So today while my brother was in the living room he heard a banging noise coming from my bedroom and upon further inspection a pretty little five year old terrorist was...um, helping?...feeling a bit guilty?...nailing my mirror back onto my wall, in its exact position that it was in--leaning against the wall a few inches away on the bottom.

Raising children is just one big lesson. On what, I am not sure. Maybe a lesson on what NOT to do next time. Maybe that is why people have more and more children...for do-overs. The last child is bound to have a close-to-perfect parent, no?

Note to self...hammers belong in the garage, not your bedroom.

***I realize that I am pretty much the best mom in the world for taking the time to run and get my camera when I discovered that my daughter had suctioned the toilet plunger to her belly. Really. Best. Mom. Ever.