Thursday, April 30, 2009

OMFG, OMFG, OMFG, OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is on like Donkey Kong, y'all!

Remember this post...

Second, no wait, make that third, chances ROCK!

The tickets are bought and paid for!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to NKOTB July 9th.

I am so giddy with excitement.

SO GIDDY!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Eight is GREAT

April 29, 2001 I married the love of my life.

To read the story of how we met, go here.

This post would have more words and stuff, but I am not home right now. We are on a mini-vaca. Seriously, if you want more words, go read the post I wrote on this day last year...

For more Wordless Wednesday Participants, go here.

Friday, April 24, 2009

On Starting The Day Off In A Suckish Way

This morning we were running a bit behind schedule. The kids had not showered/bathed last night, and I had nothing to pack for their lunches. Add that together with their perpetually hormonal mother and I was pretty grumpy.

I ran in the house last minute to grab Cal's homework, which just kinda escalated the grumpiness.

I join the kids in the car, I fire that puppy up and start to back out of the garage.

I am watching my mirror, as I always do, since garage wall clearance is not so great and I feel like I am holding my breath every time I back the car out of there.

As I am staring at the mirror I watch, in slow motion, as that sucker POPS right off of the side of my car. It was the loudest noise, probably EVER, and it scared me. I was already a hot mess, since I was frustrated that we were leaving a tad late, but when this happened I broke down into an even hotter mess.

The hubs came running out of the house (which is amazing, considering the fact that he sleeps through our whole morning routine on any average day, including today) and all I could do was cry. In hindsight, I want to blame it on him. He is the one that parked the car in the garage last night, after all. I am too old for the blame game though, so, you know, whatever...

I just got off the phone with the Toyota dealership and the guy was super nice, and very funny. Just when you think you got the shit end of the stick, you realize that it could be so much worse. He was telling me a story of another woman who did something quite similar to what I did (apparently people knock their side mirrors off all the time when they are backing out of the garage), but only this lady's story is funnier than mine...

"This woman lived in the downtown area and has a one car garage. She was backing out of her garage and knocked off the passenger side mirror, and she was so pissed off when that happened. With such gusto, she pulled the car forward to correct her mistake, but in correcting it, she knocked off the driver's side mirror as well."

When she called him for replacement parts that day she was having a beer (days like that deserve a beer, I say) at 9am.

He gave me the quote for the mirror, and asked me if I would like him to order the part. Quite frankly, I can not afford the part right now, so he suggested that I go down to Pep Boys and buy a universal mirror for the time being, just to make the car safe and legal. He suggested that I stick it on with double sided tape, or duct tape. When he told me that, this was all I could imagine:

To see this image in it's full sized version, go here. It is awesome!

He helped me to find the humor in a craptastic situation, he made me laugh. We all know it could be sooooo much worse, it is, after all, just a car.

The point of this story is: Toyota has excellent customer service. It is just a car. And I hope you all have a better day than I!

P.S. It is going to cost $202.54 for the part, and $110/hr for labor (who the hell makes $110 an HOUR???), registration is due on the 20th for $175, plus the monthly car payment, plus gas, and we are looking at potentially spending over $1000 on the car this month alone. Crap, that sucks.

P.S.S. I accidentally bought one-ply Charmin toilet paper the other day. That can also be filed under "crap that sucks"!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Let's Talk About Controlling Birth, Yo!

Alternate Title: TMI, Look Away Or Keep Reading. Either Way, You Have Been Warned.

Nearly five years ago I did my research, made an appointment, and dragged my a$$ down to the local Planned Parenthood. After talking with the nurse at the clinic, we decided that I would have a Mirena IUD inserted for maximum birth control protection. Superhubs and I were not ready to decide if our family was complete, our baby was less than a year old, but we weren't too keen on using condoms. That is how we got baby number two, after all.

At my one month check up the nurse asked me how I was doing with the IUD. I was fine, but I had some concerns about my mood swings. She assured me that there was nothing to worry about, that the Mirena surely was not causing the mood swings. [[[I am such an idiot.]]] I never really thought about it again. So basically, for the past four and a half years I have been irrational, moody, and unable to lose weight (among other things, but basically, a real joy to be around!). I have gained a ton of weight since having the IUD inserted, about 80 pounds. At first I thought the weight was the direct result of going spoon for spoon in an ice cream eating, beer guzzling challenge with the hubs. The only problem with that theory, however, is that I have tried extensively, and continuously, to take the weight off. It just is NOT working.

The other day one of my very good friends, a 28 year old non-smoker, was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with blood clots in her lungs, a side effect of Yasmin birth control pills usually reserved for women over the age of 35 who smoke.

This got me worried so I googled some of the side effects of Mirena IUD, mind you, my nurse assured me that there were NO side effects, and found lists a mile long, as well as petitions for the maker of Mirena to include all side effects in the patient pamphlet.

So that got me to thinking. Of how desperately I want this tiny piece of silicone removed from my body. I can not believe I have had something so toxic inside of me for so long and not really known just how much havoc it is wreaking on my body (Come to think of it, I should have known how unhealthy this BC is, I get my monthly visitor about once a year, for one hour...that can NOT possibly be good for me!). I have decided that my body is convinced that it is pregnant, and it is storing up the weight for the baby (I am NOT pregnant, I PROMISE)!

So what next? I am not getting another IUD put in. I am NOT willing to bear any more children, my loin is locked down. I will not use Yasmin (duh!), nor will I use Nuva Ring (I know of a 22 year old mother who died from a stroke while using Nuva Ring...). We conceived a child while faithfully using condoms.

I have only 4 short months left to have this device inside of me (it has a 5 year *um, what is the word I am looking for?* shelf life) and quite frankly it seems like there is only one option left *gives the hubs the puppy dog face and refers him to several websites*

So what about y'all? When you decide your family is complete are you going to refer your husband to the doctor, or are you going to take care of that end of the spectrum? What kind of birth control do you currently use, if any?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I'm Not Sure Whether I Want To Run And Save My Brother

Or if I am comfortable enough to sit at home laughing my ass off at the crap he is going through this weekend.

Luckily, I trust his friends and my Uncle and cousin enough to know that they will not let him be truly harmed.

This weekend marks the weekend of the Spring Doin's for the ECV and my brother is going to attempt initiation.

I have no idea what this entails, but I do now know that my hillbilly is showing.

I looked up ECV initiations on youtube and all I found was this.

Apparently the initiation rites and secrets of the Order truly are just that...secrets. I can not believe how hard impossible it was to find a video of initiation. I actually came up empty-handed.

I just know that my cousin said that sometimes when he sweats (years after his initiation) he still smells chicken guts. I have no idea what that has to do with anything, but it certainly sounds traumatizing enough!

Good luck, brother. And just remember, when you are done with this weekend you will no longer have to endure any of this crapiness:

Having your crutches painted hot pink then hidden in a tree

Owning the worlds most outlandish Halloween costume
(although I kinda think you enjoyed that one!)

Showing off your skinny legs in tights...

Haha, truth be told, you probably will still have to endure that kind of crap from your friends. Look on the bright side, at least now you will be able to fight back.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I Successfully Baked The World's Ugliest Easter Treats

No doubt there will be mocking to endure in the afternoon.

I baked these mini-cakes to take to Amy's house for the Easter party that she hosts every year.

We were at Joanne's, a local crafting store, a couple of weeks ago when I found the cutest silicone mold. in. the. world. I mean seriously. The cutest. Easter egg shaped mold. With zig-zag's on it and everything. Of course we bought it. I told Amy so, and she insisted that I bring the dessert for Easter.

I baked the little cakes, which, as it turns out, are not nearly as cute as I thought they were going to be.

I looked up ideas for decorating them on the Wilton website and found one that I thought was insanely adorable. You melt candy melts and pour them over each egg and what you are supposed to get is a smooth surface, beautiful and sophisticated. Like this...

This is what I got...

With no time left to fix my horrible craftiness, I went ahead and decorated the little buggers. I thought, maybe, just maybe, they would end up looking somewhat decent, or at least if I put a bunch of candy and shit on them that they would be disguised as cuteness.

This is officially going down as the worst cake wreck ever. Good thing I am not a professional baker, or there would be internet mocking by the famed cakewrecks website, for sure...

Happy Easter my friends.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Backwards Aging

I just got off the phone with my BFF, Amy. Today is her birthday, so of course the kids and I called to sing to her. We got her voice mail and left her a message and we said "Happy birthday Dear Auntie." when it came to that part.

She played the voice message on speaker phone and one of her three year old's was in the room when she was playing it. The sweet little nugget said, "*gasp* It is AUNTIE'S birthday, too????"

Haha. Get it?

The little one thought that it was my* birthday too (because, obviously, she does not call her Mom "Auntie"). Funny kid.

So I got her on the phone and we had this conversation:

So, are you feeling really old now?

Her: Actually, no. I thought I was turning 33, because I thought I was 32 all year long. So it is a pretty nice surprise that I am only 32 today!"

Me: *cackle, cackle, laugh, laugh* OMG. So you are doing the opposite of aging? That is so awesome!

Amy on the left, me on the right, circa 1997

Happy birthday to my very best friend, may you always feel younger and younger with each passing year!

*She could have thought it was her other auntie's birthday, but for the sake of the story we are going to make me the only auntie, because that is more awesomer.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before THIS Happened

I just opened my inbox to find an email from one of my favorite (novelty item) stores, Torrid. They tend to keep up with the fashions, but their clothes are for women who wear size 12 and up.

So I open up today's email from them to find this image staring back at me.


Photo courtesy of Torrid

Are you gonna rock the acid wash denim? Apparently, they are bringing it back. What do you think?

Friday, April 3, 2009


Peekaroo, or "CreepyPoo"?

You be the judge.

Would you carry your tiny tot around in this thing?

Reminder: I am about to hit my 1000th blog comment. The 1000th commenter gets a prize, although, I have not decided what it is going to be just yet.

The winner of my little giveaway is JNJHasleton, aka Jennifer. Congratulations, J!

Thanks to all of you who helped me hit 1000 comments today!! You guys are all awesome and you make me want to blog more. (I heart comments. I am kinda attention whorish like that.)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Are You An Extrovert Like Me (A.K.A. Dork in Public)?

Generally speaking, there are a couple types of people in this world: The extrovert and the introvert.

OK, there are obviously more types of people in this world, but I am trying to make a point here, so stick with me.

The ones that say hello would be the extrovert, and the ones that hide for cover in a corner, not wanting to be seen, well, those would be the introverted types.

Then there are, of course, the people who fall somewhere in the middle.

I kinda think I am an extrovert. Usually. Sometimes, however, I do find myself hiding in the corner of Target, not wanting to be seen by an old friend. Note to self: Stop leaving the house without brushing your hair. It almost always guarantees that you will see someone you know.

I work in the restaurant business and I have been at this particular restaurant for nearly 2 months. In this short amount of time I have seen 3 people that I know, all whom I have not seen for over a year, and in one instance, I had never really met the person. Each time I felt conflicted in whether or not to say hello to them. In the end, what it boils down to, is that I AM the type of person that is going to say hello to someone that I know.

The first time I served someone that I know, it was a woman that I had not seen in about 10 years, a woman that I went to church with when I was in my youth. I spent an hour working her table, knowing full well that it was her from the moment she walked in the restaurant. I did not say anything at the beginning, but when their bill came, she took a peep at it and realized who I was (my name prints up on the bill) and we had a nice conversation.

The second time it was a friend of a friend, and I barely recognized her, because she came in with a hat on. She took her hat off and I went over right away to say hello.

The third time I saw someone I know was yesterday. The only thing is, though, that I only know her from reading her blog for the past year and a half. I thought that it was her, then as I kept walking by I kept thinking more and more that it was her, and finally I told myself, "Self: She recently got engaged, go check out if she has an engagement ring on her finger."
So I did.
And she did.
So I say, "Is your name Aimee?" (I had to use a lot of restraint to not add the Enchilada to the end)
Me, in my most creepiest whispery voice, "I read your blogggg."
Anyways, I tried to play it cool and like I wasn't TOTALLY excited to meet her.
I mean, at least I think it is a fail, when I kept saying over and over, "I am so excited to finally meet you!"
I am pretty sure that I came off as an over-excitable puppy dog, but guess what? I hardly care. I am so happy I said something to her, because this morning she emailed me and I am pretty sure we are going to get together for coffee. Yay. New real life friend.

Which type of person are you? If you saw me in public would you stop and say Hi? Or would you keep on walking (covering your face with your hand), hoping that I don't recognize you?

Edited to add: I have a big comment milestone coming up real soon. The commenter that leaves comment number 1000 will get a prize, just for fun!